The Crying Game

On Friday our department had a Christmas meal. During the course of the meal, one of the topics that cropped up was a movie called P.S. I Love You. I've not seen it, but a girl I work with was explaining the synopsis. It stars Hilary Swank & Gerard Butler, and is about a young couple living happily together in New York until he gets cancer and dies. Before he dies, he arranges for several messages to be delivered to her after his death, not to tie her to the past, but more to fill her with encouragement for her future and help her to have closure & move on. I look forward to watching it at some point.

Not surprisingly, the movie is supposed to be a real tear-jerker, and the topic of conversation moved onto other films which get you a bit emotional. I was a bit surprised though, when my contribution to the conversation was met with laughter & ridicule. I cannot get through The Railway Children without reaching for the kleenex - specifically the part when Jenny Agutter's character is reunited on the station platform with her father. In fact I can think of some more films that I can't get through without reaching for the kleenex, but that's a different topic altogether....

Anyway, to my surprise, not one of my workmates agreed with me; "You're having a laugh" and "You're a Homo" were some of the more kinder comments, but each to their own.

There are a number of movies that move me in different ways. Off the top of my head there are scenes in The Pianist, Notting Hill, Life Is Beautiful, The Killing Fields, Four Weddings & A Funeral that leave me with a big lump in my throat. Even Forrest Gump - I went on a date to watch this at the old cinema by the Harefield Road in Uxbridge, and I remember being sat in the back row & having to pull the hairs on my arm to stop me welling up like a big girl.

So, what movie can't you get through without blubbing?

Jimmy Hill!

A few weeks ago I was watching Soccer Saturday, and they cut from the studio to Craven Cottage, where a statue of Fulham great Johnny Haynes was being unveiled. The irrepressible Chris Kamara was interviewing Jimmy Hill, who in turn gave a moving tribute to his former team mate.


Rather typically, Jimmy was involved in some controversy later that afternoon. Fulham were playing Sunderland that day, and Jimmy was spotted in the crowd by some Sunderland fans who hadn't forgotten Hill's role in Sunderland's relegation some 30 odd years ago.

At the end of the 1976-77 season, Jimmy, then managing director of Coventry City, ensured that their game against Bristol City, kicked off late so that they would know what relegation rivals Sunderland were doing in their game at Everton. When news of Sunderland's defeat filtered through to Highfield Road, Hill relayed the score over the tannoy the players proceeded to pass the ball around for the remainder of the game to achieve the draw that would mean Coventry & Bristol City stayed up.

Football fans have long memories - and on the day of the Haynes statue being unveiled, Hill was given some verbal abuse by Sunderland fans in the crowd. Hill's response in waving & blowing kisses, only served to inflame the situation, and Jimmy was led away from his seat by police for his own safety.

Anyway, the reason I posted this was because it reminded me Jimmy Hill's enormous chin, and the subsequent playground taunt to anyone telling a supposedly tall story. Not sure how it all came about, but the gist of it was that anyone telling an unlikely tale would be greeted with other children stroking their chins in response, saying "Jimmy Hill! Chinny reck-on!" As put-downs go, it was bizarre, but effective. As an example:

Child A: "Did you see that TV programme about Evil Knievel last night?"
Child B: "Yeah, he jumped all those buses on his motorbike"
Child C: "That's nothing - last night I was on my BMX and I went up the kerb and jumped over my Dad's Cortina"
Child A & B (stroking chins) "Yeah right! Chinny Reck-on! Jimmy Hill!"

So, I've decided to start a campaign to bring back this put down into the nation's vocabulary. My ultimate aim is for Jeremy Paxman to use it the next time he interviews Gordon Brown if Brown declares that the economy is in good hands - Brown would be finished. Next time you're in a meeting at work, and someone makes an exaggerated claim, look them firmly in the eye and start stroking your chin....

Stan The Man

No, not Stan Bowles, although he's the undoubted original.

Just recently I've been catching a lot of Stan Collymore on various talkSPORT programmes. And it turns out that he's quite a decent broadcaster.

talkSPORT seem to have a penchant for the more controversial presenter. Off the top of my head I can name George Galloway, and to a lesser extent Terry Christian & Alan Brazil. You could add Collymore to that list.

Collymore made his name as an explosive striker, one of the most exciting players of his generation. He first came to my attention when he was at Nottingham Forest. I recall, randomly, one of my flatmates at Uni on the phone to Clubcall one night, trying to find out if Collymore would be fit to play for Forest against his team Wolves. They reported that he was still injured, so my flatmate gleefully went off to the game. Needless to say, Collymore played and scored.

Later came a big money move to Liverpool (a British record transfer fee at the time), and his debut for England. I remember watching him warming up as sub at Wembley, against Brazil in one of those tin pot end-of-season mini tournaments (the Umbro Cup), and thinking that this was the start of a really promising international career. He reminded me a lot of Paul Gascoigne; a fans' player, undoubtedly talented, but with a maverick streak about him.

As it turned out, the parallels with Gazza were apt. Both players with unfulfilled potential, beset with on & off field problems - trying to conquer personal demons off the pitch, whilst never fully recovering from bad injuries on it.

At least Gazza played a fair few times for his country. Collymore picked up only 3 caps for England - yep that's right, just three times - a surprising statistic when you consider some of the donkeys who have worn the 3 lions over the years. Stan's international career (1995-1997) was eclipsed by Gascoigne's (1988-1998).

Stan was a great player, but ultimately flawed. For every positive memory I can think of (e.g. scoring the winner in that famous 4-3 Liverpool vs Newcastle game), there is a negative - remember him doing his Harry Enfield scousers impression "calm down, calm down!" to the travelling Liverpool fans after he was sent off at home for Aston Villa? His red card in this game was the result of 2 yellows - a bad tackle on Steve Harkness (who had clashed with Stan in a previous game) followed by an off the ball shove on Michael Owen (whose emergence at Liverpool had accelerated Stan's departure to Villa).

It was downhill after that for Collymore - ongoing battles with depression, short spells at several clubs, his volatile relationship with Ulrika Jonsson, including punching her in a Paris bar during the 1998 World Cup, early retirement, and the dogging stories.

Stan started off as a decent match summariser on 5 Live, but recently moved over to talkSPORT where his broadcasting career has flourished. I listened to him earlier tonight discussing the Carlos Tevez affair and he was intelligent & insightful - better than some of the bumbling buffoons presenting on other sport programmes.

With his strong opinions & history he won't be every body's cup of tea, but he's refreshingly honest, articulate & interesting to listen to - I've been impressed with his media career to date. Better that he's remembered like this rather than for a group of bystanders watching him in the back of a land rover in a car park....

All You Need Is Love

Paul McCartney has been threatened with 'sacrifice operatives' if he performs in a concert in Israel as part of that country's 60th anniversary celebrations.


The threat was made by Omar Bakri Muhammad, an Islamist militant leader and activist:






http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/61355/We-ll-kill-Sir-Paul-if-he-plays-Israel


This story reminded me of a poem I read for the first time recently, by W.H. Auden. Auden is better known for writing Funeral Blues, the poem later used in the movie Four Weddings & A Funeral ("Stop All The Clocks....").

Auden wrote this piece in August 1968 (actually the poem's title), and refers to the communist invasion of Czechoslovakia that month, but it could easily have been written about Bakri:

The Ogre does what ogres can,
Deeds quite impossible for Man,
But one prize is beyond his reach:
The Ogre cannot master speech.

About a subjugated plain,
Among it's desperate and slain,
The Ogre stalks with hands on hips,
While drivel gushes from his lips.

Don't Mention It!

People who won't say "thanks" when you hold the door open for them.

Drivers who won't acknowledge you when you pull over to let them through.

I've encountered one each of these today. It's doubtful that either of these two ignoramuses are reading this rant, but if you are - I'm not your fecking servant, OK?

*Sigh*

When I set up this blog it was not my intention to write about stuff like this. Most people, you would think, have been brought up with some basic manners. There's not usually any excuse for not nodding/smiling when someone holds open a door for you - unless of course you're on an aeroplane in mid flight & not wearing a parachute.

Likewise, although it's probably not mentioned in the Highway Code, most drivers know when to say thanks in some way when someone pulls up to let you out of a tight parking space. You have to be a bit careful though - some people leave it right until the last moment to hold their hand up when you've let their oncoming car in ahead of you at a tight spot in the road. Many a time I've been about to give someone the bird, when they've smiled & nodded their thanks virtually as our windscreens are parallel.

Some might say that there's more serious issues to be concerned about, but my argument would be, get the basics right at least.

The Good, The Bad, and.....

I feel sorry for Iain Dowie. No, not because of any aesthetic reason - I'll try to avoid making any childish jokes about his boat race during this posting.

See, Dowie's on a bit of hiding to nothing this season as manager of QPR. If he gets QPR promotion to the Premiership, he will probably be replaced by a more, shall we say, cultured manager/coach. If he doesn't, he'll get the sack anyway.

The bar has been raised at Rangers. With the takeover by wealthy investors, expectation levels have risen enormously. Add to this the inflation busting increase in season ticket prices at Loftus Road, and suddenly the tolerance of loyal fans has become a lot shorter. We're only 3 games into the new season, and already the "noisy minority" on various internet messageboards are calling for Dowie's head.

I've always had a theory in football, that whatever level of football you watch, regular punters will always crave a scapegoat to moan about. Like a pantomime villain, some people love to hate certain players. Sometimes the tarnishing is well deserved, other times not so - I could never understand, for example, why a section of R's fans regularly used to moan about Steve Palmer's inclusion in the team when we were crying out for an experienced, calming influence in the team.

This season's early contender for King Rat appears to be new goalie Radek Cerny. Signed on a free from Tottenham, Radek has replaced fan's favourite Lee Camp between the sticks, and about 20 minutes into his home debut was given some stick by some of the QPR fans for his nervous start to the game.

Dowie also is a very strong contender for the role of one of the Ugly Sisters (see what I did there?). Along with the massive expectations, fans were grumbling about his perceived style of football, and the fact that he replaced the popular Luigi di Canio, who had Rangers playing some stylish passing football last season - perhaps conveniently ignoring the fact that we needed better organisation & fitness levels as well.

I think people are judging Dowie a little too early. A new manager needs time to impose his style, personality & philosophy of play onto his team. I met Dowie a few years ago, at an end of season Player of The Year do. At the time he was assistant manager to Gerry Francis, so just starting out on his managerial career. He came across as an intelligent & likeable guy, and seemed to me to be really passionate about football. After Francis was sacked, Dowie was a strong contender to take over the reins, but Ian Holloway got the gig instead.

In the meantime, Dowie has taken Oldham to the playoffs, Palace to the playoff final & subsequent promotion to the Premiership, where he missed out by a whisker of keeping them there the following year, left Palace in acrimonious circumstances a year afterwards, left to join Charlton where he was sacked after only 12 Premiership games, and then had a storming start to last season in charge of an exciting Coventry team, before a slump & fallout with the Coventry board signalled his departure.

You might detect that I am sitting in his corner on this one. I think the jury is still out on him at the top level, but has proved to be a very capable manager at Championship level. He's a bright, young & hungry manager, and needs to be given time. I was, like many QPR fans, a little underwhelmed by his appointment, but I have since warmed to him - he's positivity shines through in interviews (and with a face like his you'd have to be positive - sorry, sorry).

I was at the first two games of the season, an uninspiring 2-1 home win vs Barnsley, and a 3-2 away win in the Carling Cup at Swindon, where some of our attacking play was a joy to watch. By all accounts, our 3-0 capitulation at Bramall Lane was awful, so the start of the season has been a mixed bag. All I am saying is give Dowie a chance.

I Am Who I Am Because Of Everyone

I love the new TV Advert from Orange, where a guy talks about the people he has connected with during his life & who have helped define who he is. One of the best ads I've seen for a while, and it's definitely struck a chord with me. A little bit twee? Possibly, but I like it.

I'll shut up already and let the script tell the story..........

I am my Mum ... and my sister. I am my best friend Mike, who I have known since school. I am Kate, who is still somewhere in Thailand. I am all the girls I've ever kissed ... and the girls I will. I am the teacher that failed me, and the one that spurred me on. I am my bosses, and every one of my friends. I am a bloke I'll meet travelling, who'll teach me the guitar. I am the places I go to with mates, and the jokes I share with them. I am the people who put me down ... and the ones who pick me up. I am who I am, because of everyone.

It's based on a quote by George Matthew Adams, who once said:

There is no such thing as a 'self-made' man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.