Alan Green

Oooo. I really don't like Alan Green, the commentator on BBC Radio Five Live.

Whenever I tune in to listen to a football match commentary, you can guarantee that if Green is on the mic, within 5 seconds the dial on my radio will be turning in the direction of Talk Sport. His dulcet tones can wipe a smile off my face in an instant. It's not his Northern Irish accent that I object to - far from it. Rather, its the man behind the voice.

He is a bit of controversial figure in Sports broadcasting. Over the years he has fallen foul of several famous football managers, including Sir Alex Ferguson & Sam Allardyce. You could argue on this basis that he's not a bad bloke! No, my opinion of him is purely subjective - I think that the guy is an over-opinionated & pompous git.

He's bad enough as a commentator. When I tune in to a football match on the radio, I want an informed analysis & a mildly entertaining account of the game. Sadly I'm too tight to splash out on a Sky Sports contract, so I often listen to the radio. There are some excellent match broadcasters on the radio - a task which is arguably more difficult than being a TV commentator. Alan Green, on the other hand, bombards his listeners with his own turgid opinions & suffocates his audience. Middlesborough vs Chelsea turns into The Alan Green Show.

He really plumbs the depths of sports journalism on 606. This phone-in show is usually transmitted on 5 Live directly after the football matches have finished on a Saturday afternoon. It allows frustrated/happy football fans to spout off to the nation about how badly/well their team has done that day. Not when Alan Green is on though. He hardly allows members of the public a word in edge ways. Now this is isn't necessarily a bad thing, bearing in mind of some of the dribbling tools that phone in. But again - it's not supposed to be The Alan Green Show. God help you if you are a fan of one of the teams further down the football pyramid. If you're lucky he might know a couple of minor facts about your club, and he'll interrupt you to tell you this, before patronising you & then going off to wank on about how wonderful Man Utd/Chelsea/Liverpool are.

Last Sunday, Ray Stubbs was in charge of the 606 phone in - and he is like a breath of fresh air in comparison. He certainly know his football - the guy is a Tranmere Rovers fan & actually played for them in his teens. He's knowledgeable about football clubs from every level, is humble when airing his opinions, and most importantly, allows the people phoning in have their say. Alan Green could pick up a few tips.